And here I was, thinking that the Chicken was bland.

I was all set last night to talk about how I was bland.  I believe I compared myself to a pale piece of boiled chicken on a white plate.  I never got around to finishing the blog, because I guess I wasn’t supposed to.  Last night I may have felt boring, but I’m realizing now that I am just the opposite (even when I am not getting into trouble).
Today was one of those days where I got home, cracked my bottle of wine, and sighed.  Sighed not because I was tired and run down, but because I had a great day.  Work wasn’t that crazy, I laughed (a few times), I had a major moment of thankfulness (which I’ll actually write about in a separate blog), and I was ready to tackle the things that I needed to at home.

The things that made me laugh today:  In no particular order and by no means all of them

1.  There was an older woman who was freaked out about her HOA statement.  She called at least six times, each time complaining that she did not get a call back.  I would listen to her complaint, urge her to please leave a voicemail, then tell her that she would receive a call back by the end of the day.  At the end of the day, I found out that the only person this woman should be mad at was herself.  Each and every time she called and left a message, she neglected to leave her telephone number for a call back.  Idiot!

2.  I flirted with a little person.  I am trying to be PC here.  He happens to be a performer here in town.  I am guessing him to be at least in his late 30’s, early 40’s…I actually found him attractive.  It may have been the accent, it may have been the fact that he dresses well, it could be his manners…or all of the above.  The pervert in me was totally trying to picture how sex would be.  The mom in me wanted to pick him up and squeeze him and cuddle him, while telling him just how adorable he is.  Regardless, I proved to myself that I really will flirt with anyone.

3.  I called my favorite lingerie website this afternoon to place my order for my Halloween costume.  Yes, I am trying an exercise in confidence and wearing lingerie (to an extent) as my costume.  Sexy Witch.  The consultant that I talked with was so sweet.  We talked like we were old friends, I told her I had gift cards to spend…which brought up the reason I had gift cards.  I win contests on their Facebook page all the time.  I have won 4 total, including one where I actually named one of their new corsets.  They really should hire me.  While C1 and I were together, he actually won a contest as well and gave me his prize.  I spoke of him during the conversation with the consultant…to which she replies with a laugh, “C1?”(she actually used his name obviously).  She knew his fucking name!!  Those of you who are more familiar with who C1 is will understand what I mean when I say he was very active on FB.  Evidently, everyone at the main office of the website was weirded out about the fact that he was commenting on literally EVERYTHING on their FB page…statuses, pictures, responding to others’ posts on statuses/pictures, other people’s pictures that were posted on the page, and befriending people through the page.  I am now wondering if they got any complaints about him.  Anyway, we had a good laugh at the fact that him and I were no longer together.  She said they had been wondering what had happened to him…I told them that he stopped because he and I broke up.  “You’re welcome”, I said.  She laughed hysterically.  I have a feeling that our talk might be the story going around the office tomorrow.  I am also really happy that I get more stuff in the mail next week.  I got my latest prize pack today…it had some very cute pj bottoms, a tee, a velvet thong, and 4 pairs of stockings (the sexy thigh-high kind that need garters. cute!).

So, yeah.  I laughed today.  I was happy today.  I made no booty calls and had no sex.  I am making an actual effort to lead a normal sort of life (as normal as I can manage).  Less boys, more Chicken time.  That’s the way it should be.  Of course, we have not approached the weekend yet, have we? I’ve got First Friday this Friday night (I am taking Mini Me with me…we’re going to check out some art), The Biggest Tattoo Show on Earth Saturday night with Sailor Girl (can’t wait!), C2 is coming into town (I don’t know what’s up with that yet…), and I also have a play date with Little Man, his new school friend, and new school friend’s mom (who, by my estimation is 45 at least).  Now that will be a story…newly divorced 45 year old who has never had a life of her own and just moved to town meets 31 year old, tattooed, wild child.  Wow. She won’t know what hit her.  Maybe I should introduce her to my mother…

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