Where Does The Time Go? or…Man, Those Earrings Are Lovely

It’s been too long. I know. I know.  It’s been so long that I don’t know where to begin! It’s been so long that I almost just gave up on this blog and started a whole new one all together!
It’s August.  Summer is coming to an end and the kids are going back to school soon (finally!).  It flew by, really, just like this entire year has so far.  Mike has moved in and we’re cohabiting peacefully, talking about getting married, planning on opening up a business together, and scheduling our sex just like grown-ups do.  Sunday we’ll have been together for 9 months.  It’s love and I like it.

I honestly can’t wait to get our business up and running.  It is going to be an awesome experience and we are so excited about it.  Things in the office here have gotten a little excruciatingly boring lately and I’ve all but given up on finding any sort of happiness in my current position.  We’ve lost some accounts and workload is down, so people tend to socialize.  I am forced to sit in my area because I am the receptionist.  I have to stay put.  Others, however, see fit to get up and wander and chat excessively in their boredom.  I hate this.  I feel like I’m backed into a corner.  I can’t get out.  I can’t say, “Can’t you see I’m extremely busy refreshing my Facebook and Twitter every 5 seconds?!” because I’m too nice…and let’s face it…I could get fired.  I don’t make eye contact with most people that come up front because I do not want them to feel welcome enough to converse.  It’s awful and rude, yes.  But, I’m sick of hearing about people’s cats or illnesses or their periods or, even better, their sex life.  Believe me, it’s fucking AWESOME that you have a boyfriend that can last for hours and that you are able to have multiple orgasms. FUCKING AWESOME. We should all be that lucky. Maybe…just maybe…I don’t want to hear about it at work.  After a pitcher or two of sangria? Count me in.  We can talk about what positions you like too.  Otherwise, leave me to stalk people on Facebook and look at cool shit on Etsy in peace. Please. I’m begging you.  Oh! But definitely tell me about the shot glasses that look like shotgun shells that you found online..because those were kick ass.
Speaking of cool shit on Etsy, I am so addicted to that site.

(Aside: Turns out that both Mike and I were blogging at the same time and both mentioned Etsy.  This is without talking or reading each others blogs.  This stuff happens all the time with us.  We are connected on some other level that I cannot even begin to explain. But I digress…)

I have found a plethora of amazing things.  Items for upcoming nuptials, accessories, home decor, vintage engagement rings, and random oddities. It’s the random oddities that keep me entertained throughout the week. There is a never ending supply.  Let’s take a moment to look at this artisan that I found last week.

VulvaLoveLovely is her name and vaginas/female reproductive systems are her game.  This is just a portion of the items she creates.

Uterus fanny pack.

 

Earrings. Vulva earrings.

 

For the woman who has everything: A pendant of her own vagina. Just send them a picture!

 

Uterus pillow. Soooo cuddly.

 

Vagina pillow.  Just in case you like to sleep with your head on some pussy.  The hole confuses me, though. Seriously.

I need to keep myself busier during the day, I think.

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