I will be the first to admit that my children get away with things that most children wouldn’t and that they have been exposed to things that would most likely be deemed inappropriate by your run-of-the-mill perfect mom from Connecticut. There is generally one rule that stands in our home, though:
What goes on in this home stays in this home and don’t you dare say or do that outside in public.
Does it always work? No. For example:
I received a call from the dean of Little Man’s school yesterday afternoon. There was a school dance and he took it upon himself to go jump into a group of his friends getting their picture taken and flip off the camera. Who was behind said camera? A teacher of course.
What am I supposed to say to this when I have multiple pictures of future step-dad, Mike, doing the exact same thing and when I’m sure there are probably multiple pictures of me floating about doing it as well? Do as I say and not as I do? Well, this mom said, “What are you thinking doing that at school? It doesn’t matter who is taking the picture, a teacher will be around and they are always looking. Don’t be an idiot.” After all, he is twelve and a boy and pushing his boundaries with what is acceptable behavior in public and what is acceptable behavior around your guy friends. What is cool around the bros is not always cool around others. All males must learn this at some point.
Like (when was it? last night?) when he was trying to be funny with the other male in the house and he made that gesture…you know…the one involving two fingers and a tongue…and I happened to look up as he was doing it?
Honestly, though, the only thought that was going through my head at that moment was:
pleeeeease do not let him know what that actually means.
But he probably does, because Mike assures me at this age he already knows what a queef is. Jesus Christ. I’m bringing a baby into this home.
And I’m really wanting another boy?