Yes, I Have to Pee. Again.

22 weeks, 3 days…and counting.  “Honeymoon” trimester?  I don’t know about all that. It’s better than the first and not as bad as the third. As Mike so kindly pointed out last night (thanks baby), it’s pretty much all downhill from here.
I don’t know what it is about this pregnancy, but I’ve been completely selfish more in tune with my wants and I’ve gotten to really focus on my changing body.  Being that this is my third and last pregnancy, it’s about time I got to really enjoy creating a human.  Could it be that I have a husband that caters to me, wants me to enjoy my pregnancy, and actually gives a shit about what I’m going through? Yes. Yes, I think it is.
Here are a few things that I have learned so far (about myself and about pregnancy in general) during my second trimester. Gems of wisdom, if you will.

1. Be ready to pee every time you stand up.
Whether it’s a tiny tinkle or a complete Niagara Falls, it’s bound to happen. I’ve just gotten in the habit of going whether I really feel like it or not.

2. Don’t hold the pee.
Get it out! Especially if you have pregnancy congestion, as I do, and sneeze a lot. It’s hard, nay – almost impossible, to hold in a large uterus holding a baby, a bladder full of pee, and a sneeze.  Let’s just say the baby wins. Also, didn’t your mother tell you that holding your pee can lead to bladder infections?

3. Take a partner with you while grocery shopping.
Mike has been wonderful during the escapades that are our shopping runs.  I always bring a list, but lately it never fails…I forget nearly everything,  including the fact that he has lovingly gone and retrieved half the list by the time I remember what I was looking for in the cereal aisle. And he doesn’t bitch at me when I ask him a million times if he got cheese…or when I get distracted and want candy. Or juice. Or…ice cream! Or..oh! oh! cookies! Fresh baked ones! A partner will keep you from returning home with only what you were craving.

4. You can use a vibrator during pregnancy.
What?! I looked it up. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it will get a woman an orgasm. I used to be a distributor of “bedroom accessories” and I am ashamed to say that I had no idea.  I wondered one day, so I googled. As long as your doctor says it is ok to have sex, then it is also ok to use a vibrator. Just keep it clean. The vibrator…not the sex.

5. I don’t really mind people touching my belly.
I know. It’s weird. I haven’t really had a complete stranger do it yet, so I’ll let you know how I feel when that actually happens. I could have Mike rub my belly all day.  It’s feels intensely intimate even when he just places his hand on the baby while we sit together. I can’t keep my hands off my belly, either.  I almost sicken myself.

6. If you play with a flashlight app on your phone and shine it onto your belly, it startles said baby out of what was probably a perfect sleep.
It is also a great way to have daddy feel the baby kick for the first time. Keep in mind that it may annoy the baby when mommy and daddy get excited and keep shining the light in the area they think the head is in. Mommy might get kicked really hard. I told Mike that Gummy is going to have an aversion to bright light. I’m glad I’m not giving birth to a mogwai.

This list could go on, but I have to pee. Again. Jeebus help me if a sneeze comes.

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