2 weeks and 5 days to go. According to the fruit charts and my handy little What to Expect app on my phone the baby is now a watermelon. This, to me, is the most appropriate food on those stupid fruit charts. That and maybe the raspberry…remember when the baby was a raspberry? So darling. Now I have a gigantic watermelon attached to the front of my body and, trust me, it feels just like it sounds. Plus, I can just eat a shit load of watermelon right now. Yum.
Mike and I are in that holding pattern of anxiety, waiting on the baby. It could be any day. It could be any minute! I wake up every day wondering if today is the day – knowing full well that it’s not. My body likes to keep the babies it grows and has to be forced to let them out. That’s just the way it is. I got the phone call from the Dr’s office today, confirming my induction date the week after I’m due. My awesome doctor is planning ahead and I am a-okay with that.
With no new symptoms coming and nothing to do but wait, Month 9 of pregnancy can be a little boring.
Month 9 is no piece of cake. Or, it’s lots of cake, because at this point you’ve already come to the realization that you’re already gaining weight. In fact, most of the time, you are supposed to gain a pound a week at this stage…when you’ve already gained 20-30 lbs…what is 3 – 5 more? Have that fucking cake. Honestly, at this point, you can’t even see the scale over your belly when you step on it at the doctor’s office, so why even sweat it? Ignorance is bliss. The doctor will tell you if he’s worried about “your numbers” (weight gain, blood pressure, stomach measurement) as they like to call them.
Your favorite hairstyle?
A top knot. Mostly because your hair growth has gotten completely out of control and it’s the only way to keep it out of your face and your overall temperature down. Or you’ve already gone crazy bothering with it and cut all of it off in an attempt to have an “easy to manage” new mom style.
Your favorite outfit?
The third trimester uniform: A maxi skirt and a tank top. Maybe with a cardigan and some cute earrings. Or a maxi dress.
But no more flip-flops, because wearing them makes your feet swell. Or…all you wear is flip-flops or some other form of slip on shoe because 1) you can’t reach your feet or 2) the swelling in your feet won’t go down. I’ve taken to wearing my chucks.
Your favorite past times?
Sweating. Usually beginning with putting on your shoes because you are too stubborn to only wear slip ons or ask someone to put your shoes on for you.
Answering your mom’s daily text or phone call asking how you are feeling. Pregnant. Very pregnant. Still pregnant. Waaay pregnant. I just say “good”.
Grunting. When you stand up, when you sit down, when you roll over, when the baby jabs you in the side and pushes her head into your bladder all at the same time…all the time.
Being generally cranky. Mainly because you’re uncomfortable and you are so ready to feel normal again.
Obsessing about making sure everything is ready for the baby, but not actually having the energy to do it all.
Drinking water. Holy crap, there is not enough water in the world.
Going pee. Holy crap, why are there not bathrooms in every corner of every store?!
Grinning and bearing it all, because you know it’s almost over.
This chapter is winding to a close. With the exception of maybe writing about my labor and delivery, these pregnancy posts are over. It’s time to go back to writing about the trials and tribulations of being a mom…not the trials and tribulations of being a pregnant woman who wants a beer. And good lord, do I need a beer, because I’ve got a diddy of a story to post. I’ve been pregnant for almost a year (holy shit) and I don’t think once I have talked about my other kids. (Sorry kids. Mommy does love you.) Trust me. There have been things happening.
In a few weeks I will be the mother of a soon to be teen boy, a tween girl, and an infant. And I worry that I won’t have anything to write about…yeah right.