I’d like to blog. I really would. I have about 3 different ones that are partly finished, waiting in the sidelines in the “Draft” section of my posts. I’ll get to them eventually. If I didn’t have my computer I probably wouldn’t know what today’s date is. My days are a blur of feedings (the baby’s, the other children, and mine when I manage it), nap times (just the baby), keeping the 3 older children entertained, trying to keep the house somewhat presentable, laundry, stealing a few precious moments with my husband and trying to fit in a little time for myself here and there in all this chaos. The most I’ve managed is showering, checking my email, occasionally being on Facebook, and last Friday Mike watched Gummy while I went to a jewelry party and had a few drinks with friends. I’ve also exercised. Twice. Instagram has become my go-to for a few minutes of escape – mostly because there isn’t a bunch of crap to sift through, nothing to respond to like Facebook, and it can be done a few minutes or seconds at a time.
The days go by so fast and it seems like there is always something to be done.
I’m almost convinced that babies are born with a gene that makes it possible for them to actually sense when you are trying to have “me time”. In fact, I’m almost convinced that all children have that ability. I think it must be lost during puberty, once we begin to crave time to ourselves more and more. I realize that the children aren’t purposely making the house devoid of any quiet whatsoever, but I’m beginning to doubt that. If I was any more sleep deprived, I may have started to believe that there was a conspiracy to turn me insane by the end of the summer. Luckily, Gummy Bear is a pretty decent sleeper.
Take today, for instance. All she has wanted to do today is sleep and eat. That’s pretty rare for her, since she has really good periods of awake time lately and does her sleeping at night. Inside I’m worried that this may mean that she isn’t feeling well, but I’m hoping that it means she is going through a growth spurt. On the outside, I’m dreading tonight, when she will decide she doesn’t want to sleep at all. For now, I’m being a little selfish and enjoying the 45 minutes of peace I’ve just had. She is sleeping soundly and the older kids decided that I wasn’t very interesting for the time being. I’m also fighting the urge to hold her.
Gummy loves to be held and cuddled and would let me do it all day long. Some days it feels like she insists on it. No matter how frustrating that is, the instant that she has been out of my arms for an hour I’m wanting to hold her again.
Perhaps I’m already insane? Or more sleep deprived than I thought.
Sidenote: Just when I’m thinking that I’m the one that is making myself insane, a child comes into the room and asks,
“Do you think if I put 10-12 batteries in a sock and hit someone with it, it would hurt them?”.
It’s definitely a conspiracy, folks. I’ve got to go stop a kid from becoming the next Homey the Clown. And whip up some dinner.