As parents, we love our children unconditionally…faults and all.
Take Mini Me.  She is the messiest child I think I’ve ever come across.  Her room is a pig sty.  I could make her clean it 1000 times a day (some days it feels like I do) and it will still be messy 15 min later.  And she brings this mess with her everywhere she goes.  You can tell which room of the house she’s been in by the various toys/snack wrappings/pieces of shredded paper or cloth she’s left in her wake. She is the Pigpen of our household.

Last week, Mini Me woke up one morning to find that her brand new Liv doll was missing.  She came to me with tears in her eyes and said that she woke up in the middle of the night to find that the doll wasn’t in the bed she had made for her…that her pillow was missing…and that she had searched the house and even asked Little Man if he had stolen her.  She informed me that the only thing that could have happened was that the doll had walked off on her own.  Seriously.  She said this.  I may not have mentioned that she also has a lively imagination.
You see, I knew where the doll was.  Late the night before, Mike had gone into her room to turn off her TV and had seen the disgustingness that was her domicile. He took her doll and made this video:

I tried not to laugh as I showed it to Mini Me.  She just looked at me with her mouth open.
“Is that MIKE?!”
“Nope. I don’t know who it is.”
“Yes it is! I see my doll’s blanket right there on the floor! Where’s my doll?”
“I don’t know. As soon as your room is clean, then I will get instructions as to where I can find the doll.”
“Is this for real?  Do I have to give you five dollars?”
“Yes. This is for real.  I’ll give your doll back when your room is clean…and no, you don’t need to give me money.”

It’s always a good time when you’re having fun at your children’s expense. Right?  Maybe that’s just us.
Mini Me cleaned her room spotless, though, and I gave her doll back.
“You should be ashamed of yourself”, she said.

Ummmm…not really.
I should probably start putting money away for her inevitable therapy sessions.


4 thoughts on “Ransom

  1. Ingenious! Too late for me though, as my minis are now, um, maxis and have a standard policy of not negotiating with toynappers. However, I still have my fun by posting photos of a long-lost toy belonging to my son and taunting him by showing the toy (beany baby monkey) out on the town, going to concerts, playing tennis etc.
    Being a mum is great. Heh heh.
    Ps my son is now 20.

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