Maybe 7 Days of Suck is a little harsh. It didn’t all suck.
I said before that I was asked to come to the office to fill in for a coworker that was on vacation. The boss lady said I could bring Gummy in and that she would pay me my earlier wage under the table…who can say no to that? Not me. I like them Benjamins.
Day 1 & 2: Gummy did AWESOME. She was asleep when we arrived at the office and slept up front in her carrier with me until it was lunchtime. She would eat her lunch, play for a bit, then go back to sleep for almost the rest of the workday. It seriously made me wonder why I was so against going back to work in the first place, when my boss had said that I could – and bring the baby with me. Plus, all the oohs and aahs over the baby by everyone that came in were nice. We all like to hear how beautiful and adorable our babies are.
Feelings: elated, relieved, glad to be out of the house, proud
Day 3: Baby slept fairly well again. A little more entertaining was called for, but not too bad. I distinctly remember making a comment that afternoon that she “slept better at the office than at home”. She enjoyed interacting with all the new people. An old runner came in…one that used to call me “baby” on a regular basis. He complimented on Gummy and her hair (of course), then told me that I didn’t look any different from the last time he saw me. Excuse me? I was a puffy, waddling, bitch of a woman who was ready to give birth at any second the last time he saw me. He thinks I still look like that? I was ready to lay the smack down on him, but I just blew it off as him being a fucking idiot.
Feelings: tired, ready to go home by lunch, pissed off at stupid runner boy, dealing with the situation
Day 4: “This day already calls for wine”. This is what I tweeted at about 10:30am. I had an outrageous case of PMS. Gummy decided this would be the day that she refused to take a nap in the morning. It also happened to be the busiest day for foot traffic in the office. She spit up on me twice while I was helping a homeowner that had come in. She wasn’t happy. I wasn’t happy. I wanted to cry. And to hit someone. And to drink an entire bottle of wine for lunch. She slept for 20 min right before lunch, then luckily she took a halfway decent afternoon nap. She decided to prove my theory about her sleeping better at the office wrong. Then, my boss told me that I’ve “done a really great job of putting myself back together”. Last time I checked, I had a baby. I didn’t just get out of rehab or the loony bin! I didn’t know what to say, so I just smiled. I blew it off as her being a fucking idiot.
Feelings: overwhelmed, emotional, pissed off at stupid boss lady, ready to rip somebody’s head off, seriously considering not coming back
Day 5: Gummy had a hard time sleeping again. Not as bad, but it was still a rough day. I’m required to cover up my tattoos at work, so this requires me to usually just wear a cardigan over my outfit. I did a big “fuck you” and decided just to wear an old short-sleeved company polo, jeans, and my chucks. Nobody said shit. Not even when we had board meetings in the office that afternoon. It’s not like they could fire me. I’m not even on the payroll.
Feelings: tired again, annoyed, guilty for not spending as much quality time with Gummy as I usually do, glad there is only 2 days left
Day 6: Baby slept better. We were getting back into a rhythm. It still involved a lot of entertainment in the morning, but we were both dealing with not being in our normal environment. My mood was better and she wasn’t as cranky. Boss lady made a comment about everyone at the board meeting thinking it was so cool that I had my baby at the office. “You would’ve thought they would have a problem with it”, she said. No. People don’t have a problem with it. You thought the same thing about my tattoos and you were wrong about that, too. Jerkface. By the end of the day, I was truly exhausted and my guilt for having Gummy in the office peaked. She hadn’t had nearly the amount of one-on-one time with me as she normally does. She screamed her head off for half our ride home because she hadn’t had enough sleep and she was overtired. I cried with her as I drove.
Feelings: exhausted, TGIF, woohoo! only 1 more day!, glad I decided not to go back to work
Day 7: Today. Last day. Finally! Gummy gave me a break this morning and slept until it was time for her to eat lunch. We’re playing with a board book at my desk. I’m hoping that she’ll go down easily for her afternoon nap, but I know there is no guarantee of that. We’ll roll with it. There’s only 3.5 hours left in our day and I’m pretty confident I don’t want a repeat of this week. I feel like I could say no without feeling guilty if they ask me again.
Feelings: rested from the weekend, calm, glad to get back to our normal routine tomorrow
The boss lady made a comment (she has a habit of doing that, doesn’t she?) last week that “now that we know this works, we should have you come in more often”. Thanks, but no thanks. This week confirmed everything that I knew before I left to have Gummy and she wanted me to come back to work with the baby.
I am not a bring-your-baby-to-work type. I’m sure we would adapt, but the money isn’t worth the exhaustion or the guilt that I felt this week. Since I have the choice, I’m choosing not to work. If I didn’t have a choice, then that would be a whole other story. I’m so glad and I feel so lucky that I have the option of staying home with the baby for the time being. I’m much happier being at home than I am being at work. So is the baby.
Simple, right? Plus, I think we discovered that she doesn’t really like stuff on her head. Especially phone headsets. I hope she doesn’t feel that way about hair bows.
- Things I Forgot to Remember… (southernfriedinvegas.com)