It’s A Girl’s World

Mini-Me is a Girl Scout. I wrote briefly last year about us trying to find her a group in our area. We ended up putting her in one that was based in a Presbyterian church just minutes from our house, mainly because it was the only group that didn’t have a shrew as a Troop Leader and they had meetings on Friday nights that I could get to after work. Last year we didn’t put a lot of effort in going to meetings or events – the girls didn’t seem to be actually doing anything that earned them badges and I wasn’t much on going to events like church-sponsored Easter picnics. Not to mention that I thought the Leader’s skills at leading and being organized were atrocious. They still are. At the first parent meeting a lot of the new parents had questions and she was just too scatter brained to answer even the simplest one. Everyone left with a look of confusion on their face.
It’s really not her fault. She’s Leader for three troops. It’s just too much for her. So, last year when I took over helped at the cookie booth I volunteered at, she asked me for help with the administrative end of troop leadership. Being the organized individual she is, she never got back to me. Then she asked me again at the parent meeting. I accepted.
It was not because I have a thing for paperwork and data entry.
That’s a lie. I totally have a thing for paperwork and data entry. I don’t know why. (Because I like to be in control and I like things organized. Duh.)
It was not because I wanted to show her up, be in the loop, and know everything there is to know about running the troop so people could come to me instead of her.
That’s a lie, too. I pride myself on being a “wealth of information”. This means I like to be the know-it-all. And I’m caddy as hell and like to show people I’m better than them. Passive aggressively.
I just knew she needed help and I was being nice. Stop laughing. Really, I was being nice at the time.

Anyway, that’s where we were at last week. I was going to help with the group a little and we were going to participate more than last year and make this a fun experience for Mini-Me. The End.
Then Saturday, we went to the World of Girls 100th Birthday Bash. It was a valley wide event. The valley includes three cities, for those of you not familiar with the Las Vegas area (it’s not just a street with a bunch of hotels on it), so there were a shitload of Girl Scouts in attendance. It was like a Girl Scout convention – with demonstrations, historic displays, craft projects, singing – and lots of polite, spirited people. I had no idea what Girl Scouts was about until I saw all these girls and parents together. These other troops were cultivating friendships, leadership skills, and self-confidence. I was in awe. And I kind of had a blast. Kind of. Sort of.
That’s a lie. I had a great time and I came away inspired.
I’m going to become a troop leader.
I know. I know what you’re thinking. How is a woman who is boobies deep on the trail from Ho-ville to Housewife City going to be a role model to young girls? There are a few badges to earn, but I’ve found a few that we’ll focus on first.

All About Me: I think the point of this badge is obvious. We’ll spend time doing our hair, learning to properly apply makeup, then start drama with the other girls in the group.

Me and the Media: We’ll video our spats during the All About Me program and post them to YouTube. Those with the most hits will receive the Entertainment Technology badge.

Savvy Shopper: To earn this badge, we’ll have an outing to the outdoor swap meet in Las Vegas. The girls will be required to bargain with the booth owners to get the best deal possible on some spinner hub caps, stolen power tools, a hoochie shirt, or a fake Coach bag. Extra props to those that can meet their goal by speaking Spanish. Spanglish will also be accepted. We’ll celebrate with churros.

Detective: Does Mommy need to know where Daddy has been on those nights he said he was working late? We’ll learn to use our detective skills with a little social media stalking. Specifically Facebook. We’ll then track Daddy during a staged Girl Scout sleepover and earn our Digital Photography badge by taking some pictures of his whereabouts. If things get ugly and Mommy beats up Daddy, the girls can earn their First Aid badges patching him up.

Gardener and Simple Meals: Here we’ll learn all about Pinterest. The girls will try cooking all the crock pot meals that I’ve pinned. Specifically the freezer meals, where they will spend all day cooking, packing up the food, and putting it in my freezer. No cooking for me for a month! They will also be constructing the various gardening projects for my patio that I’ve pinned but never begun.

I think this could work! I’ve seen Troop Beverly Hills.

 

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