The Return

The return of my old self? Eh. We’ll see. You guys know that I couldn’t stay away from here for very long, though, right? I tried, but it’s making me bitchy. Have you been filled with anticipation waiting on me to come back and write something filled with Southern snarkiness?

Didn’t think so. That’s ok.

I think it was around Halloween when I really wanted to be on here (sad, I know). I really didn’t feel like writing. Most importantly, every time I would want to write something, the opportunity wasn’t there. When I had the opportunity, I couldn’t get out what I wanted to say. If I was getting out what I wanted to say, then my writing time was cut way too short. The universe was working against me. The universe is me. (That was enlightening and completely self-absorbed all at the same time, wasn’t it?!) Anyway, I was super frustrated. All the time. So, in an effort to not be frustrated, I just stopped trying to blog. After all, if I’m not trying to do anything for myself, then I can’t be frustrated when it doesn’t come fully to fruition, right?
It worked for a bit. But, like that booty call that just won’t quit texting until you change your phone number, WordPress was eating away at my reserve. What a man whore.

So, let’s get all of you up to speed.
What have I been doing when I haven’t been writing? Hmmm…a few things.

1. First, as always: taking care of Gummy. She will be 7 months tomorrow and is already pulling up to stand AND as of yesterday, she scoots in a forward direction. It’s not technically crawling, but it sure as hell gets her where she wants to go. She really hasn’t tried going more than a foot or two, but it’s coming. Quickly*. I really wish that nesting instinct that we get those last few months of pregnancy kicked in at about 6 months of age instead. I could really use the urge to clean my house in all the little nooks and crannies.
She also hasn’t been sleeping well – turns out what started as probably just teething, ended up in ear infections in both ears. She finally seems to feel better, but I truly hope this isn’t an ongoing thing for the first two years. Little Man had chronic ear infections and I tell you…it is brutal for everyone involved.
*Yeah, so…originally I had started this blog on Sunday…it’s now Tuesday and as of last night, she is a crawler. This house is in no way ready.

2. Being a fucking bad ass mouse catcher. Really. Somehow, the day or night before Thanksgiving, a mouse got into the house. It was huge. It was almost rat sized. I awoke in the middle of the night to see a mouse-shaped shadow crawling under my bedroom door. He eluded us for two days before he decided that he wanted to come into my room again. I woke up when I heard the blinds in my room rustle. Luckily, the window was open. I jumped up, bolted across the room and closed his ass between the window and the screen. I still get excited about it. I’m such a damn ninja. I went outside and popped open the screen so he could run to safety – humane ninja style.

IMG_20121128_0703213. I made a really ugly doll. By hand. Mini Me had a book project due in the fall that included a Power Point presentation and an art project. At the last minute (because that’s how we do things around here) she settled on making a model of her main character. We both chose to make her into a doll. Because I am anal controlling faster creative, I kind of sort of took over the whole thing. She helped here and there, but it was primarily MY art project. Did I mention I really have no sewing skills, do not own a sewing machine, and have never made a doll in my life? No? Looks like a 4th grader did it, you say? Well, good. That’s totally what I was going for. I swear.

4. Being a Crappy McCrapster of a friend. I have put myself into a little bubble the last 6 months and because of it, have missed the opportunity to meet TWO blogger pals and attend a bestie’s birthday party. Not to mention friends from work that I have neglected to stay in touch with like I should. I suck. No more being off the grid, mkay? Pinky swear.

5. In an effort to work my way back into blogging, I participated in a little interactive Festivus party with some other bloggers. I don’t know who my Secret Santa was, but I do know they don’t follow my blog. They read my About page and came up with a gift based on what they saw. I ain’t mad at ya. What are you supposed to get the blogger that doesn’t update her blog? (I’m a new mom who never had a honeymoon. I really need a fucking tropical vacation with my husband) Whatevs. It got me back on WordPress, so it’s a win for everybody!

6. Creating a love affair with the thrift store. The one near my house is a designer gold mine and I love treasure hunting there. Tattooed and Organic will be pretty happy with her Christmas goodies this year. I need to take a day trip there without the baby sometime so I can really look at what the store has to offer. I’ve never made it out of the clothes section. They have an amazing record section that I’d love to dig through.

7. Christmas shopping. Duh. (See above)
I did not overwhelm myself with Christmas crafts this year, which is a good thing, because they probably still would not be done. I have just recently (yesterday) taken on the responsibility of making some last-minute homemade gifts for the husband’s coworkers. We’re also leaving Friday afternoon to spend the weekend in Salt Lake City with his family and the older childrens. So, let’s just say I’m busy this week. No worries, though. I got this.*
*Anyone wanna come over and help me make bows and brownies? P.S. – if you’re one of the lucky people to come over Christmas morning, the house will be a mess. This is just a warning. I’m past giving a shit.

That pretty much sums it up. Nothing too exciting, but nothing too boring either. Just life. And it’s keeping me busy.


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