A Picture Is Worth 1000 Words: Outtakes

When I was pregnant with Gummy and all happy and rosy-cheeked, I had a brilliant idea. An idea that I thought was brilliant at the time.
I had seen on many blogs, and probably on Pinterest, how moms would take these amazing monthly photos of their infants. With chalkboards, with pieces of a calendar spread about them…
then there were the ones with the baby laying on the ground sleeping with magical pictures drawn all around him to make him look like he was a flying super hero or whatever the fuck that mom did. Have you seen those?!

I found something simple that I thought I could do. The baby in a white onesie (so as not to distract from the baby and the changes month to month), a white sheet as background, and a chalkboard with the month on it. This is the best example I have:

Awwwww.....

Awwwww…..

Let’s just say that this was immensely harder than I thought it would be. Especially when she got to the age where she could sit up, reach for the chalkboard, pull at the sheet, not sit still, and crawl to wherever else she really wanted to be. This project lasted through month 8. After that, I said fuck it. Once I had to start taking her picture with a prop and without the chalkboard, just to go back and Photoshop it in later, it became a huge pain in the ass.
But! For your amusement (and mine), and since Gummy will be the Big 1 on Friday…I saved the outtakes from these sessions and picked a few of my favorites for us to laugh over together. Major photographer and parenting fails are happening here, people.

*Sidenote on month 2: There are 3 pictures for this month, because you really have to see the sequence to get the hilarity of this. I’m not sure what dad is doing in picture #2, but he is definitely NOT shoving her face into the ground. He may be trying to turn her head, but it’s in the daddy way – not so graceful. No babies were harmed physically during these photo shoots – hopefully she’s too young to be emotionally scarred. Until she’s 16 and I show everyone she knows. Enjoy!

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Lesson learned.
Unless you are a very good friend (or paying me a significant amount of money), don’t ever ask me to photograph your infant like this.

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14 thoughts on “A Picture Is Worth 1000 Words: Outtakes

  1. Amanda,
    Best image gallery ever. All galaxies combined. And I don’t just say shit like that…
    Le Clown

    • As always, your compliments are appreciated Le Clown. I’m glad you’re becoming a regular again.
      Some space creature who created a photo gallery is truly pissed at you right now. Assuming space creatures write blogs.

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